THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING
VS
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD'S END
. . . FIGHT!!!
Return Of The King had a lot of ground to cover; In addition to the (near) entirety of the novel, they're also forced, due to a decision to play everything out chronologically, to include several scenes from the previous novel, The Two Towers. Because of the cramped narrative, the forward momentum of the story, and the larger-than-life battle scenes, it ends up shedding a lot of the fat that The Two Towers had. Despite it's length, and now infamous multiple endings, it really does run like a well-oiled machine. Trust me; With some of the shit that's in that book, they could've made it a LOT longer.
The cheesiness and pretentiousness that should've been exclusively saved for the climax actually works quite well in the climax. And despite that, and in good contrast, this is the most "Peter Jackson-ey" installment of the trilogy: You've got ghost warriors, "hero" monsters, giant spiders; it's a fun, goofy good time.
Pirates, after their extremely solid first two entries, takes a sharp dive with this second part of the Davy Jones story. After two films of light-hearted, swashbuckling banter and antics starring a cast of backstabbers and cutthroats, we begin this film with the hanging of a child (?!), and the doom and gloom never lets up. Where did this come from, exactly? Am I now supposed to take the mythology of the series with dead seriousness? Am I supposed to feel bad that the government is cracking down on pirates? I mean, I get it; they represent "freedom", and the parallels to Wild Bunch style westerns are readily apparent, buuutttt. . . I mean they're thieves, murderers and rapists, right? These are the "good guys" that I'm supposed to shed a tear for? The previous films were a perfect balance of romance, horror, action and comedy, and this film tilts the balance heavily towards drama, in the process sucking a great deal of the fun out of the thing.
In response to criticisms that Pirates 2 & 3 don't make sense; they do, but you have to be paying attention to understand them. That said; What's the point of the whole Calypso/Davy Jones romance arc? If you removed it from the film, it wouldn't effect the story at all, really. By adding more and more mythology onto the pile, it fills valuable time with exposition that could be used for some sorely missed comedy. The shift in Jones' character from Ultimate Badass to Lacky Of Ultimate Badass really deflates the conflict that was built up to a fever pitch by the end of Dead Man's Chest. I get the shift of Beckett being the Final Boss, but Davy Jones needs to be bigger, scarier and in a greater degree of control than they portray him here.
Biggest problem with At World's End? This is Keira Knightley's movie, in essence, and a real chance for her character to shine. But, she pretty much drops the ball. She was used well in the first film (as background eye-candy), but I don't buy her transition from society girl to pirate king. She's more whiny than angry.
FREDERICK OPINES
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING - MASTERPIECE
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD'S END - GOOD
So, if I tally these scores up. . . We actually have a tie! I honesty didn't think that LOTR had a chance, but POTC pooched it up enough in the final round, and Rings brought it's A-game, so that they both ended on even turf.
The battle is over, but the war continues. The fourth Pirates film is released this year, and an adaptation of The Hobbit, again directed by Peter Jackson, just went into production.
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