TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON

Michael Bay's films are much like the actresses he gets to star in them;  beautiful, yet completely vapid.  As such, as if on a date, I often find myself torn between lust and boredom.  Which feeling won out this round?

It's a lusty movie, if ever there was one.  Shit blows up, people get thrown, and chaos reigns.  "Chaotic" is what Mr. Bay does best, and when he's most truly in his element.  This doesn't reach the grandiose, madcap heights of the previous film, Revenge Of The Fallen (my favorite of the series so far), but the insanity is unleashed from frame one in an only slightly more focused capacity.

The set-up, involving the Apollo 11 landing being retconned to an alien first contact, is good old-fashioned goofy fun (and, I'm guessing, a Spielberg suggestion) that acts as solid track for this locomotive.  It doesn't all make sense, of course, but that's completely beside the point.

Supporting actors John Malkovich, John Turturro, Alan Tudyk and Frances McDormand all seem to be game for the proceedings, and seemingly given carte blanche to fuck around.  (I love imagining that, due to McDormand's presence, her husband, director Joel Coen, will be obligated to see this.)  I'd love to see a spin-off franchise starring Turturro and Tudyk as the world's most ridiculous secret agents, but their little moments here will likely be the most that I get.  Shia is fine, as usual, in the lead, and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is, um. . .  present?

Peter Cullen returns as the robot John Wayne, Optimus Prime.  Anybody else notice that in the film series, Optimus is kind of a petty asshole?  He continues the trend in this film, cold-circuitedly murdering unarmed, wounded opponents, and lying to his friends for virtually no reason.  Leonard Nimoy joins the cast as the voice of Sentinel Prime.  (See if you can count the number of Star Trek references in the film.  I caught at least five.)

If one were to try to figure out the subtext of the whole film, I guess it could maybe be seen as an argument against withdrawal of US troops from the Middle East; and, by extension, an increase in our country's global influence.  As Optimus says several times throughout the film, the Autobots love freedom, and the Decepticons love. . .  "Not Freedom", I guess.  The Decepticons hate the electoral college.

I decided to see it in IMAX 3D format, which was quite the experience.  Is it necessary?  No;  although, being a movie where the spectacle is almost EVERYTHING, I would say that if you're going to see it, go ahead and see it in the theater.  The 3D was superb, possibly the best I've seen yet, and the scope of the Chicago battle scenes work well on a big-ass screen, but I think it would work just as well in a regular theater.

The use of 3D had another positive side-effect -- it forced Michael Bay to slow the fuck down with his camera-work and editing.  The guy has a good eye, and it was nice to be able to linger on some of the shots for longer than his usual millisecond.

As in a good dream, I'm immersed in sensual experience;  but as dawn arrives, it drifts away like vapor.

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